Thoughts on My Grandfather’s Passing A Year Later

It is hard to believe that today marks one whole year since my grandfather’s passing.

I won’t lie it has been a very hard year for me with the pandemic, the onset of my panic attacks, the passing of my grandfather really hit me hard, and unable to say farewell, with a wake and funeral didn’t help matters.

Over the past year I’ve really had some time to think about my grandfather who he was as a man and this one makes me laugh the most. Whenever he would watch a New York Yankees game he would start yelling at the TV like the players could hear him like he was the manager.

To help me cope with his loss I’ve started watching the New York Yankees more than I ever have this season and I laugh every time I do because I find myself yelling at the TV just like he would. I find that it has helped me with missing him because when I do that I feel as though he is sitting there on the couch with me watching the game yelling at it with me.

My grandfather and I as a baby.

What is the most difficult for me in this past year is I still miss him very dearly and I would give anything to have one more hug from him (his hugs were the BEST, and to hear him call me squirt one more time.

I still have so many questions for him that will never be answered, I miss hearing stories about the old Troy days, even if he changed the names.

I will forever miss him but I do know that he’s no longer suffering as hard as it is I know that he is in a better place and he will always be with me.

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since he passed I still remember that day like it was yesterday and I always will because my bond with my grandfather is hard to explain but we were very close.

Shortly after his passing about a week later a cardinal showed up in my Rhododendron bush In my backyard and I see him there every single day staring directly at my house. They say that cardinals are representative of a spirit that has passed on and I do believe that.

I believe that he is still with me and always will be. I will always be his squirt, always and forever. Happy Anniversary on getting your wings Poppa, if anyone deserved their wings it would be him.

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